That’s how Dirt qualifies a race report they published after the Megavalanche 2008. It’s written by Steve Bancroft, a BMX-rider who wanted to give mountain biking a go. It’s definitely the funniest report I’ve read so far. Not sure you can call the end of the story a happy one though. Steve will never ride a mountain bike again.
MEGA TRAFFIC JAM
There’s a whole lot of pressure involved in the losing of one’s virginity. Expectations and anticipations are elevated to celestial heights and, unfortunately for some, it’s reported that your performance during the ‘popping of your cherry’ acts as the defining moment in making you who you will be in the future. It’s not just copulation where this is the case: whenever you partake in something for the first time, that primary experience will have a lasting effect on your perception of whatever activity it was.
The 2008 Megavalanche was my first mountain bike race. The 2008 Megavalanche was my last mountain bike race. As a sexual encounter my performance in the event was comparable to an awkward fumbling under the sheets of a single bed in my mother’s house where I shot my bolt after the first two minutes then spent the next hour and 16 minutes limply flopping around trying to pretend that I hadn’t.
Riding The Megavalanche 